How do I learn to manage with no management experience?

I was promoted to a middle management position at a non-profit after six years in the industry. They did not provide me with any training, but I have read two books on management and listened to a few leadership podcasts, so I thought I would be somewhat prepared. I was wrong. I went from being great at my job to having to lead people, and I have no idea what I am doing. My team keeps looking at me for direction, but I am just hoping no one notices that I am making it up as I go. How do I go from overwhelmed to confident without totally screwing this up?

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Ah, yes. The classic "Congratulations, you're a manager now, please figure it out" scenario. I have totally been there, along with hundreds of thousands of others. You are not alone. Most people are promoted because they are great at what they do, not because they have been trained to lead. Then suddenly, they are expected to run a team, have difficult conversations, and keep the ship afloat, all while battling imposter syndrome.

Want to know a secret? No one in the history of the world started their first management position as a good manager. Why? Because they'd never done it before! It doesn't matter how many books or courses or podcasts you consume. The majority of your management skills are going to come from experience...unfortunately.

But. There are a few things you can do in the meantime to help you stay sane and get through it. Here are my top tips for a new manager:

1. Drop the "Cool Boss" vs. "Strict Boss" Debate. You don't have to choose between being everyone's best friend or a corporate overlord. The best managers set clear expectations, treat their team with respect, and make decisions that serve the whole group.

2. Figure Out Your Managerial Mindset. The shift from individual contributor to leader is a big one. Your success is no longer about your output; it is about how you support and develop your team. Delegation, trust, and communication are your new best friends.

3. Start with the Basics. Do one-on-one meetings, set expectations clearly, and learn how to give feedback without being awkward. You do not need to have all the answers, but you do need to be present, reliable, and willing to learn.

4. Expect Mistakes. You are going to mess up. Your team will too. What matters is how you handle those mistakes. Take accountability, learn from them, and move on. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to your team. You're all just human.

You will not magically feel like you have it all together overnight, but confidence comes from experience. Give yourself some grace, take it one day at a time, and remember: Everyone is winging it. Even people like Jeff Bezos. Just winging it. Every day. You can wing it too. Until one day you feel like you've got it.